How To Find Yourself?

How to find yourself? Photo:Supreme Happiness/Wikimedia

Thanks to my last blog post, Who Am I? And What I Am Doing Here?, someone posted a question on my Facebook page, Is there any way to find yourself? Before answering the question, let me ask you the same, what will be your answer? You may answer, the way to find yourself is in your heart. True, but you haven’t told anything about the way.

The reason, you are not able to tell about the way, because there is no such a way. Because life is not what you think, life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself. The way is to create yourself. So the real question is how to create yourself?

It is four-point answer, and you need to understand each point before coming to any conclusion. Let me quickly list out the four points.

1. Know your strength
2. Live goals not dreams
3. Learn from past
4. Build relationships

1. Know Your Strength
Know about yourself. Learn about your strong and weak areas. It is not about doing what you want to do but doing what you are good at. For example, someone who has good knowledge of music does not mean he can be singer or musicians, if a person really knows where his strength lie, for say, he is really good at management, he can be a manager or something. Having good knowledge is different from having expertise.

Sometimes, we freak and curse our lame jobs, and thanks to the advice 'do what you want to do.' We jump in the bandwagon of being artist or writer or something like that. I am not saying you cannot be that. But the advice really does not mean that it means enjoy what you love and take out a little time for yourself.

So, instead of crying, learn your strengths and start working on them.

2. Live Goals Not Dreams
It is about goals not dreams. Dreams and goals are not same. Goals are dreams with plans and time deadlines. Make an action plan and achieve your goal.

Start with small goals and then go for the big ones. Because accomplishing small goals will allow you to understand and tackle the bigger goals better. And also because the success is the sum of all your small feats.

3. Learn From Past
It is human to make mistakes. But it is not wise to not work on those mistakes. Learn from your past mistakes (and also learn from others mistakes). Because if you do not work on these things, you are surely going to repeat them.

4. Build Relationships
There is a Chuck Palahniuk quote, “Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.” Your persona is not actually yours, i.e., when you meet someone, you unconsciously copies some part of their personas. That’s why they ask you to meet good people. When you meet good people, you learn from them. And that's how you create yourself.

Also building relationships is not about changing your persona and changing your perspective. These relationships can also help you in reaching your goals and setting new ones. So build healthy relationships and sustain them. Ultimately, they help you in creating yourself or what you were saying 'finding yourself.'